One Does Not Simply Walk into Mordor

No, you have to drive. I did today. Twice.

The Fairfax County I-95 Landfill in Lorton, Virginia is at the corner of Furnace Road and Mordor Drive. It used to be Landfill Access Road but then somebody decided to do the first cool thing in Virginia since Thomas Jefferson was alive and renamed it after Hell.

Anyway, I made two trips down there today with all the gravel my Honda CRV could contain and still have room for my kids. The CRV was for a brief time a low-rider. I felt its pain.

Long story short, three years ago we bought this house with an above-ground pool. At the time we had two young kids and didn’t feel like assuming they had drowned anytime we couldn’t see or hear them. We told the previous owners to get rid of it before we moved in and they did. The cubic yards of decorative rocks and gravel?

Not so much.

That first year I wheelbarrowed all of it into a pile against the fence figuring “Hey, maybe someday we can use this to landscape a garden or something.”

Not so much. The kids would throw it at each other or pretend it was food if they were playing kitchen. I’d periodically clip one with the lawnmower if the kids had been especially active and my vigilance was lax.

Anyway, today my wife did National Bike to Work Day and I wanted to join her in muscle strain solidarity. She biked for over three hours cumulative and I moved almost a half-ton of rock out of the yard, piecemeal.

The difference is Monday she’ll be back in her car and I’ll still have another 1000 pounds of rock awaiting my attention.

I wonder if I could sell it on Craigslist…

Jealous?

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My Spiritual Values

Even as a child I sensed vast holes in the religious cosmology I defaulted into by birth. For that reason I think the mythology of comics filled at least as big a role in shaping my aspirations as that of the old and new testaments.

This story was one of my favorites. A mighty swamp zombie named Solomon Grundy is taught evil by a gang of hoboes. The original Green Lantern goes after him only to learn the hard way that his magic ring doesn’t work on Grundy.

No matter. GL rises from his gurney, determined to take him on mano a monster because that’s what you do even when your magic ring craps out.

Here’s the original 1940s comic and the 70s reprint I bought at the Drug Fair.

Would you try this if your magic ring didn't work?

70s comics covers weren't allowed to be nearly as scary as the 40s. I still have this comic.

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Got a Haircut Today

Generic Crime Fiction author dustjacket photo. Reasonable rates! Call now!

 

A blog a day, some of them are gonna be more substantial than others.

Sorry. New comics to read.

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What I Need

For my own mental health I need to find websites devoted to news of people doing constructive, rational things to get us back on track as a species. The sites I follow, especially political ones, are overflowing with stories of GOP madness and the inability of Dems to put them down once and for all.

I know there are people out there doing great and noble work. I’m married to one of them. There are aspiring asteroid miners, cure seekers, artists and thinkers of profound skill. I need those to tip the scales against the bastard children of Cthulhu and Jerry Springer who are swarming the public square.

It’s gone beyond the cliche of being governed by the jerks you went to high school with. The jerks are losing primary challenges to the crazy people who used to live behind the liquor store.

We got trouble in River City.

Dick Cheney's too librul! We need a real conservative like the dog who lives in my pancreas!

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My Semi-Monthly Blog Post

Facebook, kids and work. These are the the Dutch Elm disease of blogs. With the cries of neglected children in our ears we proceed.

I’m going to post some damn thing here every day, both to get back in the habit of creating rather than just re-posting and to justify the small expense per year it costs to maintain the domain. Mainly on the plain.

Things that will no doubt inspire are the kids, the goofier gigs being worked or just auditioned for, and the spectre of GOP local and national dominance here in the barnyard rape camp that once produced Thomas Jefferson.

I also like comics, movies and TV. Music too. Theatre would be nice but that involves money and free time. Sometimes I can afford to do a little but that’s it for me and the boards lately.

I’m going to update this site with new pictures, a bio update and… a game?
Maybe Space Invaders with my headshots as the aliens. Just something to pass the time.

Maybe link to my YouTube channel and put stuff up there?  Who knows?

I’ve always enjoyed the most success when I’ve made work rather than waiting for it to come to me. So, we’ll do that.

I think I shall also make this blog something on which people must write to me in order to be registered users. My anti-spam stuff is tight but some marketers seem to have found computer literate slaves who will actually type out captchas on the off chance I might want boner pills or a home tanning system. So write to me and tell me you’re not a robot or a slave or a slave robot.

And if you are a slave robot go work the other side of the street, pal. This is my territory.

Here’s what I really look like sometimes.

A thing from the 90s, full of hot air. Also, a balloon.

"John" in Arabic. Or possibly Hebrew. What's the damn difference?

"Johnny Guliani" after a looong murder mystery. I left after four hours. It may still be going on.

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A Brief Update on My Doings

Because this seemed a bit long for Facebook:

My family and I embarked yesterday on a week long vacation to Florida, our second in as many years. The primary motivator is the presence of my wife’s paternal grandmother, one of a diminishing number of that generation of our families. Simply put, you never know when you won’t get to to see her again so you go when you can.

I am told she’s thrilled to be seeing us.

We’ll also be seeing a few other aunts, uncles and in-laws as time allows. Somewhere in all this we’ll take the kids to one of the attractions in the area. One I’m told is devoted to the works of a major movie studio. The other has a mouse.

Since even the cheap entertainment here looks like a McDonald’s play area on acid we may just do the mini golf course that looks like a volcano. We just got here today so who knows what else there is to do?

Our trip down here was broken into two parts: Northern VA to Savannah. Hotel break. Savannah to here. Much easier than last year’s 20-hour straight drive of death.

The Bahama Bay Resort in Citrus Ridge, FL is very nice and a steal for what we’re paying per night. It’s got lots of pools and kids play areas and the rooms we’ve got are posh. The only negative is the wireless dead zone around our building. I’m typing this in the main building, about a five minute walk from our place. So far so good, but it definitely changes my rhythm. If I want to post anything or just surf I’ve got to set aside some time and risk physical contact with others. Ew…

Speaking of others, this appears to be a popular spot with vacationers from the British Isles. There are so many Limeys here it’s like I’m vacationing in London and Florida simultaneously.

Hey, who’s Southern Man’s favorite author?

“Tom Klancy.”

Goodnight.

 

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Words the Department of Homeland Security Looks for on teh Interwebs

Or so I read somewhere on teh interwebs…

I’ll let you know how many hits I get.

Domestic Security

Assassination
Attack
Domestic security
Drill
Exercise
Cops
Law enforcement
Authorities
Disaster assistance
Disaster management
DNDO (Domestic Nuclear
Detection Office)
National preparedness
Mitigation
Prevention
Response
Recovery
Dirty bomb
Domestic nuclear detection
Emergency management
Emergency response
First responder
Homeland security
Maritime domain awareness
(MDA)
National preparedness
initiative
Militia
Shooting
Shots fired
Evacuation
Deaths
Hostage
Explosion (explosive)
Police
Disaster medical assistance
team (DMAT)
Organized crime
Gangs
National security
State of emergency
Security
Breach
Threat
Standoff
SWAT
Screening
Lockdown
Bomb (squad or threat)
Crash
Looting
Riot
Emergency Landing
Pipe bomb
Incident
Facility

HAZMAT & Nuclear

Hazmat
Nuclear
Chemical spill
Suspicious package/device
Toxic
National laboratory
Nuclear facility
Nuclear threat
Cloud
Plume
Radiation
Radioactive
Leak
Biological infection (or
event)
Chemical
Chemical burn
Biological
Epidemic
Hazardous
Hazardous material incident
Industrial spill
Infection
Powder (white)
Gas
Spillover
Anthrax
Blister agent
Chemical agent
Exposure
Burn
Nerve agent
Ricin
Sarin
North Korea

Health Concern + H1N1

Outbreak
Contamination
Exposure
Virus
Evacuation
Bacteria
Recall
Ebola
Food Poisoning
Foot and Mouth (FMD)
H5N1
Avian
Flu
Strain
Quarantine
H1N1
Vaccine
Salmonella
Small Pox
Plague
Human to human
Human to Animal
Influenza
Center for Disease Control
(CDC)
Drug Administration (FDA)
Public Health
Toxic
Agro Terror
Tuberculosis (TB)
Tamiflu
Norvo Virus
Epidemic
Agriculture
Listeria
Symptoms
Mutation
Resistant
Antiviral
Wave
Pandemic
Infection
Water/air borne
Sick
Swine
Pork World Health Organization
(WHO) (and components)
Viral Hemorrhagic Fever
E. Coli

Infrastructure Security

Infrastructure security
Airport
CIKR (Critical Infrastructure
& Key Resources)
AMTRAK
Collapse
Computer infrastructure
Communications
infrastructure
Telecommunications
Critical infrastructure
National infrastructure
Metro
WMATA
Airplane (and derivatives)
Chemical fire
Subway
BART
MARTA
Port Authority
NBIC (National
Biosurveillance Integration
Center)
Transportation security
Grid
Power
Smart
Body scanner
Electric
Failure or outage
Black out
Brown out
Port
Dock
Bridge
Cancelled
Delays
Service disruption
Power lines

Southwest Border Violence

Drug cartel
Violence
Gang
Drug
Narcotics
Cocaine
Marijuana
Heroin
Border
Mexico
Cartel
Southwest
Juarez
Sinaloa
Tijuana
Torreon
Yuma
Tucson
Decapitated
U.S. Consulate
Consular
El Paso
Fort Hancock
San Diego
Ciudad Juarez
Nogales
Sonora
Colombia
Mara salvatrucha
MS13 or MS-13
Drug war
Mexican army
Methamphetamine
Cartel de Golfo
Gulf Cartel
La Familia
Reynosa
Nuevo Leon
Narcos
Narco banners (Spanish
equivalents)
Los Zetas
Shootout
Execution
Gunfight
Trafficking
Kidnap
Calderon
Reyosa
Bust
Tamaulipas
Meth Lab
Drug trade
Illegal immigrants
Smuggling (smugglers)
Matamoros
Michoacana
Guzman
Arellano-Felix
Beltran-Leyva
Barrio Azteca
Artistic Assassins
Mexicles
New Federation

Terrorism

Terrorism
Al Qaeda (all spellings)
Terror
Attack
Iraq
Afghanistan
Iran
Pakistan
Agro
Environmental terrorist
Eco terrorism
Conventional weapon
Target
Weapons grade
Dirty bomb
Enriched
Nuclear
Chemical weapon
Biological weapon
Ammonium nitrate
Improvised explosive device
IED (Improvised Explosive
Device)
Abu Sayyaf
Hamas
FARC (Armed Revolutionary
Forces Colombia)
IRA (Irish Republican Army)
ETA (Euskadi ta Askatasuna)
Basque Separatists
Hezbollah
Tamil Tigers
PLF (Palestine Liberation
Front)
PLO (Palestine Liberation
Organization
Car bomb
Jihad
Taliban
Weapons cache
Suicide bomber
Suicide attack
Suspicious substance
AQAP (AL Qaeda Arabian
Peninsula)
AQIM (Al Qaeda in the
Islamic Maghreb)
TTP (Tehrik-i-Taliban
Pakistan)
Yemen
Pirates
Extremism
Somalia
Nigeria
Radicals
Al-Shabaab
Home grown
Plot
Nationalist
Recruitment
Fundamentalism
Islamist

Weather/Disaster/Emergency

Emergency
Hurricane
Tornado
Twister
Tsunami
Earthquake
Tremor
Flood
Storm
Crest
Temblor
Extreme weather
Forest fire
Brush fire
Ice
Stranded/Stuck
Help
Hail
Wildfire
Tsunami Warning Center
Magnitude
Avalanche
Typhoon
Shelter-in-place
Disaster
Snow
Blizzard
Sleet
Mud slide or Mudslide
Erosion
Power outage
Brown out
Warning
Watch
Lightening
Aid
Relief
Closure
Interstate
Burst
Emergency Broadcast System

Cyber Security

Cyber security
Botnet
DDOS (dedicated denial of
service)
Denial of service
Malware
Virus
Trojan
Keylogger
Cyber Command
2600
Spammer
Phishing
Rootkit
Phreaking
Cain and abel
Brute forcing
Mysql injection
Cyber attack
Cyber terror
Hacker
China
Conficker
Worm
Scammers
Social media
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Me on TV

If you watch the NFL channel you may have seen me in this:

I am the caucasian gentleman.

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