An indulgence I recently granted myself was a membership at IMDbPro. That’s Internet Movie Database, for those of you who focus on real news. “Pro” status just means you can access more info in exchange for 100 bucks per year.
I became a “Pro” because I didn’t cancel my “free trail membership” in time and they already had my credit card.
That’ll teach me I guess…
Anyway, one of the features they have under “Pro” is the STARmeter. Basically the more search inquiries you get at IMDb or the more mentions you get in their news service the higher your STARmeter rating is.
Right now I’m number 798,030 meaning there are 798,029 actors more happening than I. At my peak I think I was somewhere around 300,000. That was in 2004. God only knows why since I spent most of 2004 changing diapers and doing laundry.
Understand, the STARmeter is like golf. High scores are bad. You want to be rich, famous, working and in the single or double digits if possible.
Put another way, today I am absolutely positive that I am outranked by a dead guy. Turns out the number one guy on the STARmeter as of October 27th, 2005 is the late Mr. Charles Rocket, who evidently made the career move of his life by cutting his own throat on October 7th.
No lie: Had he survived today he’d have a three-picture deal and a new wife.
Hey, if you have a moment, go to the IMDb link on the right. Type in my name under “search.” With all the traffic this blog gets maybe I can crack that 797,000 ceiling.
Or floor.
Or just close a window so that God will open a door.
It’s that or I start self-mutilating and calling People Magazine.
“What? And leave Show Business?!”
