(As secretly taped by John Judy, 12-29-05)
“Are you there God? It’s me Dubya. Okay, I’ll start. This year hasn’t been very good for me. There were hurricanes and terrorists and some of my friends got in trouble. Like my friend Harriet Miers who had to drop out of that Supreme Court thingie even though I’d promised her a special treat for being such a good friend. She said we could still be friends but now she won’t speak to me. And that makes me sad.
Another thing that made me sad is that “King Kong” movie, God, where the big monkey climbed up the building and beat up all those planes?
That was cool but then those planes shot the monkey even though all he wanted was to play with his friend and maybe have a banana. Why wouldn’t they just let “King Kong” alone, God?
He was the biggest, strongest monkey there was but in the end all those little planes shot him up good and he fell down and died. I wish I could have told those planes (and the people flying them) that if you just let the big monkey do what he wants he’ll be good and protect you from dinosaurs and giant bats that want to eat you.
It’s just common sense, God, but some people don’t seem to get that.
I guess my point here is next year I’d like more bananas for me and my friends and if anyone wants to shoot us off a building I’d like to be able to tap their phones and torture them. I think that’s reasonable. I ask this in Jesus’s name. Amen. Your friend, Dubya.”
(Tape ends.)
