I once had a friend (honest I did) who played football in college. He explained to me one afternoon a certain reality of football concerning one’s knees.
“If you play football in high school you’re likely going to have knee problems later in life. If you play college ball you will absolutely, guaranteed, have knee problems. If you play pro ball you will absolutely, guaranteed have severe knee problems the rest of your life.”
Which is why O.J. could not possibly have been the killer.
(I kid. Burn in hell, “Juice.”)
I wish to adapt my old friend’s wisdom for parents:
If you are a parent of either sex and you have even one child, especially a boy-child, you (absolutely, guaranteed) will have back problems, probably for the rest of your life. Briefly, any fool can lift 30-40 pounds if they’re reasonably careful about it. The trick is when that 30-40 pound weight suddenly sees a squirrel or a “big airplane(!)” and decides to hurl itself in a random direction requiring instantaneous center of gravity adjustment on the part of the lifter. Or if that weight needs to be placed in a center car seat. Either way you’re going to learn just how much work it can be to get in and out of a chair when God Itself is stabbing you through the kidneys with a barbed cattle prod everytime you contract a stomach muscle.
Some other time I’ll tell you about nearly going into shock when you sneeze.
And yet it’s worth it of course.
Of course…..
