“Sex Offender Not Guilty of Dungeon Rapes”

For my next job I want to be the guy they’ve got writing headlines for CNN.com.

Nevermind the stories themselves which are tending more and more toward the purely sensational.  I mean who wouldn’t want to have at the top of their headline-writing resume “Man with Sword Mistakes Porn for Rape”?

I think I’m detecting a theme here.  “CNN: All Rape, All the Time.”

It would sound better if James Earl Jones said it.