1. We will cut taxes for you and your families and raise them on the Russians and Chinese!
2. We won’t just save the unborn babies, we will resurrect the ones who have already died!
3. Ditto your favorite pets!
4. We’re not just doing “Ellen” and “Oprah” but “Springer”, “Maury” and “Ice Road Truckers!”
5. No matter how low the GOP sinks we’re going to burrow that much closer to the Earth’s molten core (or Hell if you prefer)!
6. The GOP thinks you’re stupid, but we KNOW you’re stupid! And we can too!
7. Beer! Beer! Beer!
8. Work will make you free!
9. I’ll (Whatever McCain says that day) your face!
10. AAAAA-OOOOO!!!!
Sorry. I just can’t handle this thing not being over already…
