Why do we do Facebook?
To keep up with friends far away. To share a laugh or a concern. To screw with South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint.
All these things are enriching and fun.
Why do we not do Facebook?
To endlessly hash over disagreements, split hairs over wording, to get sucked into Who Slapped Bob.
If you visit my page, leave something nice, a compliment, a good joke, something that will make me smile. It helps if you know me well enough to know what that might be.
If you want to make a provocative, “challenging” statement do so on your own page. If I haven’t hidden you from my feed I’ll read it and decide if I want to play. I’m still learning the skill of walking away from Bait. Maybe I’ll be stupid and take it, wasting hours of my day trying to convince you that maybe Sarah Palin might have given up a point or two in that debate she had with Biden.
If you just feel blue and want attention Private Message me, assuming I’m someone whose good opinion you value. I am committed to being there for my friends. If you know me you’ll know why.
I ask only that you not abuse my hospitality. If a certain number of your jokes pile up and I don’t respond or “Like” them, you should assume they’re not to my taste. If I delete one of your comments, don’t repost it. It means you’ve crossed some line of taste and put something on my page that I don’t want to be associated with. (This has happened!)
If you know my kids’ names don’t use them. Ever.
Don’t use racial, ethnic, religious or sexual slurs. Unless I use them first and even then try to be clever about it. If you are a member of a group historically subject to such slurs I guess you can initiate the slurs if you like. (Looking at you, Jews.)
Respect my mom. Somebody has to.
Be yourself. There’s a reason we’re friends. Even if we’ve never met in person we must share some common enthusiasm so let’s focus on that and not discuss those matters on which you can’t admit that I am right and you are tragically wrong and history will condemn your foolishness and the Evil you set loose upon the world.
And if all this seems unreasonable Farmville is that way. Just follow the Mafia.
