It appears that’s what it takes to make me happy.

To loved ones and role models who didn’t make it this far: I wish you could know how much you’re missed. I’ll do my best to deserve the life and inspiration you gave me.

Leaving the grid til tomorrow/next year. Hope to see the rest of you there.

Happy New Year.

At the most basic level winter is cold and cold weather kills off anything that might otherwise be lingering on.

(Except for squirrels, dandelions and morons. They’re immortal.)

My point is, it seems very natural to equate winter and its holidays with death.

And I know there are parts of the world where December is balmy but who can account for such places anyway?

Still, in recent days I’ve been met with the obituaries of Christopher Hitchens, Vaclev Havel, Joe Simon, Kim Jong Il and, for a few minutes, Jon Bon Jovi who quickly recovered.

I also learned Friday night of the suicide six years ago of a college friend I used to act with. Obviously we’d lost touch, but this is now the second person with whom I was once good friends who chose to leave early.

These are notches I’d prefer not to cut.

I’m otherwise having a great season, working a lot and enjoying the matchless good fortune of having a healthy family and no bad stuff near the horizon.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this except maybe to offer the idea that the holidays don’t need to be so bad if you don’t go in expecting them to be perfect, by your standards or anyone else’s.

Suck it, Martha Stewart.

Last thought:

When I really began to consciously part from the seasonal myths I’d been raised with I realized that, for all the satisfaction I took from being grown-up and done kidding myself, I still could feel a pang at the pretty trappings of lights and song and once a year food. The person I’d become was the sole surviving heir to the kid who’d once sung carols and been an archangel in the Christmas play. It was embarrassing, but also reassuring that I hadn’t become completely unsentimental.

Sometime between then and now a guy once asked me if I’d rather be happy or right.

I picked at that one for a long time until I realized there was no reason I couldn’t be both.

Happy holidays.

Wishing you Jack for the holidays!

Anyway, I’m aware that Facebook and (to a much smaller degree) Twitter have have cut deeply into my content provision to this blog. It’s less work for me to just post links on the other sites along with my pithy observations than it is to properly blog here, so, being a lazy bastard, that’s what I’ve tended to do.

If you’re one of my handful of liberal Laura Brannigan/Necrophilia-loving readers and would like more regular bon mots from me I suppose you could try friending me on FB or following me on Twitter.

Just be advised that I restrict my “friendships” on Facebook to people I know, friends of friends and/or people I’ve actually heard of.  Also, you need to be legally an adult. No exceptions, even if I know and like you.  If that doesn’t sound like you then I’ll require a note of introduction before I’ll let you look at my stuff.

Or you could just follow me on Twitter. I can’t stop you, at least not initially.  I can block you as I have done with anyone attempting to market me stuff or tell me how the Jews control the media and Ayn Rand is awesome. But, yeah, lurkers or stalkers on Twitter just don’t attract my notice so long as they’re quiet and their profile pics don’t contain swastikas or crying eagles.

And just for the record I’m not the John Judy who owns the fly-fishing company in Washington or the one with the cool blog he actually writes on or the tattoo artist or the Marine or the graphic designer or the nutjob who thinks Ayn Rand is awesome.  Those are all different guys.  I think there’s also a gay teenager in Pennsylvania named “Jon” Judy who may or may not be a fellow comics fan. In fact that could be two separate guys as well.

I’m just the liberal, atheist, happily married, occasionally-employed actor and full-time Dad currently living in Northern Virginia who thinks Ayn Rand is the saddest thing this side of Scientology.

http://www.facebook.com/John.Judy1

http://twitter.com/#!/PapaJohnJudy

Or watch this space.

My current resume

Oh crap, I still have a MySpace page too. I should have that looked at…

Our first full year as Landed Gentry of the Great Commonwealth seemed at times like an epic movie that kept switching genres.  From Action to Tragedy to Slapstick to Love Story, we covered them all.

The action began with the great DC Snowpocalypse that shut down the region for over a week and turned shoveling the driveway into a daily bonding ritual between parents, children and modern suburban neighbors.  It ended up being great fun for us and a chance to spend time with family since John’s dad almost got snowed in with us.  The kids got to sled with their cousins and we resolved to deepen our garage with a 4-wheel drive vehicle for future catastrophes.  The local Honda dealership was happy to oblige us and we became a two-car family.

Since the new car needed breaking in we decided to visit the afore-mentioned Grampa in Asheville, North Carolina.  It was a fun visit with lots of good food and local attractions including the famous Biltmore mansion and estate.

Back home our eldest boy continued the activities he does best: Tae Kwon Do, swimming and growing.  More baby teeth were lost, but (as if to compensate) several swimming ribbons were won. Second grade seems to agree with him even if the homework is getting more demanding. He let off steam by getting his first Mohawk haircut for school picture day. It looked great and got him to smile!

Our daughter has also begun testing the waters of academia, enrolling in a really good pre-K program near our neighborhood.  She’s in a group of about ten kids her age.  She loves it and has made friends she looks forward to seeing each day.  She also comes home more often than not with extremely cute braids and ponytails, courtesy of her teachers.

The year very much peaked for us when Jessica delivered the best Fathers Day present ever: “Little Hulk”, so named for his size, strength and ferocity. If he ever gets one of your knuckles near his mouth you’ll understand.  He’s grown into a beautiful baby with a grin that’s inspired a second nickname: “Mister Smiley.”  And someone in our lineage has gifted him with the most amazing blue eyes.

Jessica continues to be the best bargain the American taxpayers could ask, working hard providing Congress with the most accurate possible information to misinterpret or ignore.

John continues his service providing groceries, kid transportation, plus some light cleaning and yardwork.  He also managed to pick up a few commercial jobs during the last campaign season. Happily he worked only on behalf of the Good Guys.  His lucky streak continued into October when he got to play a wedding emcee in a horror film by his old friend Eduardo Sanchez. It’s called “The Possession.” Watch for it!

Other notable events of the year included a real-live wedding for Jessica’s sister at which Jessica was a bridesmaid, Eldest Boy was ringbearer, and John and Our Girl ended up being co-flower girls. Most awesome!  John and Eldest also got a special treat when they were able to visit Los Angeles for a week to stay with old friends and go to Disneyland and the Aquarium of the Pacific. Roller coasters, shark-petting and spending a week at his best friend’s house. Not a bad summer vacation for anyone.

On a sad note we lost one of our cats after a brief illness just shy of his 11^th birthday. He now rests peacefully in Ashland and many a human could do worse. There were other losses too but rather than relate them here let it suffice to say they continue to instruct us in our priorities and the importance of keeping close with those we love.

Thanks to all for being part of our lives in 2010 and the years to come.

With much love,

John, Jessica and their nameless kids

So today at my son’s after-school Tae Kwon Do class he was told by the Christian kids that he shouldn’t celebrate Christmas because he doesn’t believe in god.

He was told this a lot, to the point that he told me he didn’t want to go back tomorrow, the last day before the holiday break. It took me a while to get this all out of him but once I got it straight I decided his instructor and I needed to come to an understanding about what was acceptable back-and-forth among kids and what was not. Dinner could wait.

I explained what happened and what the belief demographics were like in my household and I think we got it all squared away.  His instructor is a very nice Korean man, my age, Catholic, with solid English as a second language even if I had to run the word “atheist” by him a few times.

What he understands is that a talk with the class about respecting the beliefs of others  is in order, even if he’s nervous about religion being involved.  As an occasional teacher I’ve dealt with parents of faith myself and understand the thin veneer of Not Crazy some of them have to apply each morning before facing the Earth People.

What my son understands is that, for some of these kids, he might literally be the first person they’ve ever met who says he doesn’t believe in god. He understands that even though some of these kids are older than him they aren’t necessarily any smarter and they damn sure aren’t always right. He understands that you should stand up for what you believe in, as well as for what you don’t.

He understands, I hope, that his dad has got his back.  (His real dad, not the one in the sky.)

Maybe the best part of this awkwardness was that he got to hear from his dad the atheist and his teacher the Catholic that “religion can lead people to do wrong things.”

And that’s why we need to learn Tae Kwon Do.

In the course of his talk he explained that we celebrate Christmas because it’s fun and because both his parents had been raised as Christians. His mom is a Methodist Christian and his dad (the creepy old guy over there, smiling, holding his baby brother) was a Lutheran Christian but is now an atheist. He explained what that meant for the non-college bound kids.

The speech, cookies and music went over well but the proudest moment for me was when his teacher asked him during the Q&A portion: “So_____, you said your dad is an atheist.  Are you an atheist?”

“Yes.”

“Cool!”

To give this moment some context, we’re living in a state that forces public school kids to observe a “moment of silence” every morning. The school principle wears a cross and the library contains books of bible stories. I haven’t noticed any prominent displays of books about skepticism, free-thought or evolution but then I haven’t looked too hard. I devote my energies to keeping my own kids’ minds sharp, rather than trying to save the rest. I plead selfish pragmatism mixed with “tolerance.”

Still… today maybe my bright, handsome, charming son planted an idea in his class of Catholics, Muslims and at least one Jehovah’s Witness we know of.

And maybe tomorrow he gets his ass kicked at recess that he may know God’s love.

But today was a great day to be his dad.

Four months later Hinkley shot Reagan and two months after that some nut shot the Pope.

This was my senior year of high school.

I believe this period of time cemented my status as a worrier.

Tomorrow I am voting straight Dem on all candidates because:

1. I am a straight Dem.

2. The current GOP is even crazier than they have been in years past.  That is saying a lot. If you want to put people in power who are suggesting they might start shooting if they lose I suppose you have the legal right to do so.  This, I would submit, is a flaw in our system. I say call their bluff and, if it comes to it, shoot back. A lot.

I also live in a weird twilight zone of voting boundaries. I’m in the city of Falls Church, but the county of Fairfax and I’m honestly a bit unclear on which of the several sample ballots I’ve hunted down are actually going to be presented to me tomorrow.

That said, voting for whatever random Dem is on the ticket seems simple enough and the following questions appear to be statewide and are also pretty morally straightforward:

QUESTION 1. Shall we authorize localities to jigger things around in order to give tax relief to people over 65 or totally disabled?

I’d say YES, even though there are probably a few of these old folks who are stinking rich and/or willing to list a limp as a “total disability.”  I’ll roll the dice and see how it works on behalf of people who have slaved away all their lives and just want to stay in their homes.  If it doesn’t work out we can fix it later. Yes on 1.

QUESTION 2.  The same deal as QUESTION 1 only for veterans and their surviving spouses if they have a disability that is 100% service connected.  I say YES because, especially after the crap they’ve been put through the past several years, we owe our vets more than we can repay.  If it means the rest of us have to shoulder the difference in the tax burden, fine.  I’d like to see the teabagger who tells a veteran they’re sick of paying their taxes.  At least outside an AM radio station or call-in line. Yes on 2.

QUESTION 3. Shall we bump up the rainy day fund from 10 to 15% of state income and sales taxes?  Uh… Hell yeah?  Is there anyone left, even in among the baggers who thinks “American Exceptionalism” means it don’t rain here?  Let’s sock a little away for the next time the GOP wrecks the economy.  Looks like they’re already getting ready to do so once again.  So… Yes on 3.

Fairfax County Bond Referendum: Shall the County Board of Supervisors borrow a ton of money to make this Great Commonwealth a little less like the Darkest, Hottest Pit of Hell during the morning and evening rush hours currently taking up a cumulative eight hours a day?

I’ll vote yes on that provided I can get my car to the polls before Wednesday.

That’s what I got this time.

Sadly there’s nothing on the ballot about recalling our Pat Robertson protege Governor and our anti-science, anti-health care Attorney General or requiring sanity and IQ tests for all Commonwealth voters.

Maybe in 2012…

Oh, yeah!  Ballot research for the next election! In two days!

For now, I’ll just say that if the people I encountered on the mall yesterday were running our government our troubles would be over very soon. A smarter, funnier, more decent bunch of people have seldom been seen in one place.

If the Beck/Palin folks were running our government our troubles would also be over but only because they’d end up launching nukes while trying to figure out the copy machine.

The polls say the baggers are going to take over the House of Representatives and replace our first female Speaker of the House with an orange guy who consciously campaigns on behalf of a man who likes dressing up like a Nazi. This in turn will allow a two-bit hustler who made a fortune selling car alarms and his reputation ousting Gray Davis for Arnold Schwarzenegger to start subpoenaing members of the Obama administration for trying to give kids healthcare.

This is cause for despair.

But I choose to look at this as an aberration made possible by an electorate scared by a lousy economy and a nonstop bullshit machine in every home, office and car.

Sooner or later the economy will get better and the bullshit will be recognized as such.  And the people on the mall yesterday will still be there ready to extend a hand to the people who wake up from the spell, embarrassed and wondering what they were thinking.

Being kind and funny and open to new information are not liabilities. Neither is refusing the bait to be angry. Neither is being happy and grateful when you’ve got good reasons to fear. These are symptoms of robust emotional health.

As long as we don’t become them we will eventually be okay.

However I’d rather be okay sooner so please vote and try to talk your crazier friends and relatives into voting for non-baggers.  We outnumbered them on the mall by a good margin.  Maybe we can do it again at the polls.

Good night.

Not “ha-ha, Scooby-Doo” scared but “really made you run and hide” scared?

For me it was Star Trek, The Original Series, Episode 1: “The Man Trap.”  I must have seen it in re-runs because I was three when it first aired September 8, 1966.  I know I couldn’t have been older than seven because I remember the house we lived in when I first ran and hid in a different room rather than look at the salt-sucking vampire that kicked Mr. Spock’s ass and made Captain Kirk scream.  I didn’t get a good look at the actual monster until years later when I made myself sit through it instead of hiding behind some furniture in the hopes that its powers were confined to mental dominance, sucking salt and kicking Mr. Spock’s ass.

At the time I felt no reason to assume it could not also climb out of a TV and kill a child.  This was where no man had gone before after all.

Anyway, years later I saw the whole episode and yeah, the monster was pretty horrible, but mostly because it appeared both much smarter than the crew of the Enterprise and cruel enough to induce you to make out with it right before it changed into a monster and killed you.

I guess the best horror stories have a lesson if you listen hard enough. This one was: “Before sneaking off with the chick who is way too hot to be interested in you, run a tricorder analysis.”

If only I had known….