Virginia Election November 8th 2011, Fairfax County Sheriff

Posted on October 10, 2011 by John Judy

The two contenders for this office are Republican Bill A. Cooper the 3rd and Democrat Stan G. Barry.  Let’s have a look at them.

1. Republican Bill A. Cooper the 3rd is a retired deputy with an associate’s degree in criminal justice from NOVA. He is the head of his own process serving company, coaches little league and is the President of his homeowners association. He says he will get tough on crime and get the 4000 fugitives walking the streets of Fairfax County off those streets.

So far so good, although I admit I had no idea Fairfax was so ghetto.

Cooper has recently secured the endorsements of a few successful and not so successful state Republicans including current Governor and Pat Robertson protege Bob McDonnell and ex-Governor and complete racist embarrassment to mankind George Allen.

I honestly feel bad for any decent moderate Republican having to carry that kind of baggage. It’s like a Democrat getting the thumbs up from Al Sharpton.

Moving on to…

2. Democrat Stan G. Barry is the incumbent Fairfax County Sheriff of eleven years standing. He’s a graduate of Harvard University’s John F. Kennedy School of Government state and local executive program. He beat out his GOP predecessor 11 years ago and Fairfax voters haven’t looked back. He’s also overcome the personal tragedy of his wife’s suicide in 2003. It appears the usual GOP creep squad tried to spin it into something sinister but, as is their habit, they failed.

Sheriff Barry has also implemented the “Secure Communities” program that checks county inmates for immigration violations and has succeeded in deporting about 400 bad guys as of late 2010. The feds pay for it and the county saves the cost of locking them up. Very nice all around.

I’ll continue my own habit of endorsing the Democratic candidate here with one caveat:

Sheriff Barry, get yourself a website. Your state office site is fine but when you’re running for office in the 21st century you need a campaign site. They’re cheap and your opponent has one. Take nothing for granted. Get on it.

Re-electing Sheriff Barry on November 8th.

Sheriff Stan G. Barry

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Today’s Patron Saint(s) for October 9th

Posted on October 9, 2011 by John Judy

Saint-wise today is another four-fer-one which includes:

1. Saint Andronicus (of silversmiths). No miracles here, just a silversmith from Antioch who lost his kids suddenly and resolved with his wife to separate and become hermits.  Years later he met his ex and didn’t recognize her because she was masquerading as a male hermit. They became great friends and he only learned of her true identity after she died and left him a note. This is the Saint version of true romance.

2. Saint Denis (of France; invoked against headaches and frenzy). Saint Denis was the first bishop of Paris, sent from Rome to straighten out the Gauls in 90 AD. As these things often go he then got his head chopped off. However, not wanting a bunch of pagan Gauls to have the last word, he picked up his head and carried it to the site where his cathedral now stands. According to Saint Denis’ severed head: “The first step was the difficult one.” And who was going to argue with him?

3. Saint Ghislain (invoked against twitching). Saint Ghislain was a seventh century Frankish monk who got his clothes stolen by a bear. His miracle was that an eagle led him to the bear’s den where he got them back. I suppose if anyone knew about twitching…

4. Saint Louis Bertrand (of Columbia). Saint Louis was a 16th century Dominican friar who spent six years traveling around central and South America. He didn’t speak any of the native languages but was said to have “the gift of tongues” (oh my) so the natives all understood him anyway, those lucky ducks. Upon his return to Spain he attempted to tell the authorities about the horrible treatment of the natives by the Spaniards but nobody there understood him either.

Quick! Where's Ichabod Crane?!

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Virginia Election, November 8th 2011, Fairfax County Commonwealth’s Attorney

Posted on October 8, 2011 by John Judy

This is another easy one since the incumbent, Democrat Raymond F. Morrogh, is running unopposed.

Morrogh seems like a solid guy whose record must be unimpeachable since there’s not even some crazy teabagger running against him.

He’s prosecuted death penalty cases including the Pakistani guy who gunned down several people outside CIA headquarters in 1993. I’m personally anti-death penalty but in America, especially Virginia, that’s like being anti-air. Morrogh necessarily makes it part of his campaign site here but he doesn’t seem to be zealous about it and I’m satisfied he’s no soulmate to the goons who cheer Rick Perry and George W. Bush for plowing through death row like a fat kid in a Skittles factory.

Until there’s some greater moral enlightenment in this country I’m okay with supporting a guy who does his job well even if it involves things I wish it didn’t.

Voting for Morrogh November 8th.

Raymond F. Morrogh, Commonwealth's Attorney Fairfax

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Today’s Patron Saint(s) for October 8th

Posted on October 8, 2011 by John Judy

The next couple of days must have been like Boardwalk or Park Place in the heavenly calendar because they’ve each got four, count ‘em, FOUR Patron Saints!

Either that or they’re the lame community colleges where they stick everyone who couldn’t go anywhere else.  Let’s look at the saints for today and see if they offer a clue.

1. Saint Demetrius (of Bulgaria, Serbia and Macedonia). Demetrius was missionary who got martyred in Serbia around 300 AD.  He’s sort of the Saint Death for anyone living in the Balkans. If you want Divine Sanction for going genocidal on any foreigner (or native) in that region Saint Demetrius is the guy to talk to.

2. Saint Pelagia (of actresses).  Saint Pelagia has more origin stories than Spider-Man.  There appear to have been no fewer than three different Saint Pelagiae, the latter two of whom died to protect their “virtue”, the surest way for a girl to fast track that Sainthood career FYI.  The one who gets October 8th however was a performer (if you know what I mean) in Antioch. The local Bishop happened to catch her act, most likely when he stopped in for a glass of water or perhaps to ask for directions. The next day he mentioned her in his sermon, making note of her devotion to her craft and high production values. And who should be among the parishioners but the future saint herself! No doubt she had stopped in merely to return a lost glove or to thank the bishop for the tip, but upon hearing the sermon she offered to get baptized and give all her money to the church.

The bishop’s arm sufficiently twisted, the future saint donned male drag and moved to Jerusalem where she lived out her days as “Pelagius the Beardless Monk” and her nights as None of Your Business.

We might scoff at the lengths to which she went but she was probably the first actress to keep working past forty.

3. Saint Thais (of fallen women). Didn’t we cover this with Saint Pelagia?

Sort of. It’s the same plot only the details are worse. Saint Thais was a fourth century Egyptian whore who made the mistake of talking to a monk. He wheedled her into burning all her clothes, giving him all her jewels and moving into a convent where they starved and dehydrated her for three years in a cell with no toilet. They finally let her out and she died.

Many centuries later the French made fun of her.

4. Saint Triduana (invoked against eye disease). Warning: Brace yourselves.

Saint Triduana was a Benedictine abbess. One day a Scottish clan chieftain fell in love with her beautiful eyes so she tore them both out and sent them to him.

So I think we can conclude that the heavenly calendar has October 8th set aside for extra helpings of violence and misogyny. Amen.

(Seriously, how does anyone, let alone a woman, come out of this culture as anything but a paranoid, self-hating loon?)

Saint Triduana: She only has eyes for you.

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Virginia Election, November 8th 2011, House of Delegates 53rd District

Posted on October 7, 2011 by John Judy

According to the Virginia Board of Elections our choices for this office include incumbent Democrat James M. “Jim” Scott and Republican…. Nobody.

Scott is running unopposed despite being one of those dreaded “incumbents” who are hating our freedom, putting Sharia Law in our food and shooting Bambi’s mother.

(To be fair, in Virginia that last is considered a selling point.)

We must assume Delegate Scott has been doing an admirable job in this office considering he’s held it for 20 years.  Either that or the district’s been gerrymandered so that any Republican entering it immediately bursts into flame.  No wonder it costs so much to live here!

In any case I’ll be voting for this veteran public servant, but with the hope that he is grooming an equally adept protege.  Scott is 73 and I’d hate to see another Ted Kennedy/Scott Brown situation in which he becomes incapacitated and we lose a Dem office due to our own complacency.

May it never happen. “Jim” Scott in 2011! And beyond!

Here’s his website.

Virginia 53rd District Delegate Jim Scott, in living black and white.

 

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Today’s Patron Saint for October 7th

Posted on October 7, 2011 by John Judy

Today’s Patron Saint is Saint Justina (of Padua and Venice) and a fine example of how a dirty folk-tale plus a few centuries gets you a sainthood.

Justina was a fourth century Christian, baptized by “a disciple of Saint Peter.”  (Don’t do the math. You’ll go to Hell.)

While crossing a bridge over the River Po she was “arrested by soldiers.”

She dropped to her knees.

To pray…

For courage!  Yeah, that’s it!

Her miracle is that she knelt and prayed so hard her knees left indentations in the stone bridge that are still there, seventeen centuries later.  Her sacred knee-prints are said to be popular with tourists, no doubt attracting many happy couples seeking to reenact the miracle of Saint Justina when there are no cops around.

The emblem of Saint Justina is a unicorn because “that” doesn’t count.

Hey, Centurion, what's she doing with the feather OH MY JUPITER!

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Virginia 37th District State Senate Race, November 8th 2011

Posted on October 6, 2011 by John Judy

The two candidates who seem to be keeping the post office in business lately are incumbent Democrat Dave W. Marsden and GOP challenger Jason Flanary.

A quick review of their literature and the interwebs reveals Marsden has a long record of public service in Virginia and Flanary is a neophyte who got attacked hard during the primary by the very teabaggers he’s now trying desperately to rally behind his threadbare flag.

Both candidates roll hard on the attack literature but the accusations against Marsden seem to boil down to aspects of a guy doing his job representing his district while simultaneously recognizing it’s part of a bigger entity called “Virginia” other parts of which need support too.

In contrast the concerns about Flanary are multi-layered. On the first level he has never held elected office before and these are not good times for on the job training.  On the next level, the charges of corruption and lying are serious and cover a significant span of his private sector life.  On still another level he’s campaigning with the GOP boilerplate du jour of keeping taxes on wealthy “job creators” low so they can keep creating all these jobs with all those tax dollars they don’t have to pay.  Flanary appears unaware that the 30-year shelf-life on that garbage is expiring hard all over the country. Maybe there are still enough dopes watching FoxNews to eke out an election win, but after the past few years of fruitless teabaggery I kind of doubt it.  Finally, there are things missing from Flanary’s record that seem so inocuous  that I wonder why they’re omitted.  He claims to have served honorably in the Marine Corps but he makes no mention of his rank.  He doesn’t list his birthdate.  (Hey…. wait a minute… Was his father Kenyan?!?  Sorry, but turnabout is fair play, teabaggers.)  He claims to be engaged but no mention is made of a wedding date.  Again, nothing on this final level is damning.  It’s just strange stuff to omit.

Clearly Dave Marsden is the stronger candidate except for one thing: No website listed with the Virginia Board of Elections.  Credit the GOP candidates with one thing: Every one of them has a campaign site listed and linked.

It’s the 21st century, Senator. Get a website and tell your fellow Dems to follow suit.

Voting Marsden on November 8th.

(Addendum: Marsden has an official government site here, but jeez does he need a better picture!  Don’t use your driver’s license photo for state business, Senator! For real, go to Sears Portrait on your lunch break and invest!)

(Addendum, Part Two: Okay, found a campaign site for Marsden here, but I had to go through Facebook to do it and it is absolutely not listed by the Virginia BoE and does not appear on the first page of a Google search of his name.  Fix this, Senator!  We’re Americans. We don’t like having to work at this Democracy stuff!)

State Senator Dave W. Marsden. Yes, I know this text probably takes up more space than his picture. It's what they had on Google, okay?

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Today’s Patron Saint(s) for October 6th

Posted on October 6, 2011 by John Judy

The Patron Saint pickings for today are frankly kind of slim compared with just a few days ago when we had an archangel and an animal-whisperer, among others.

The Patron Saints for October 6th are Saint Bruno (invoked against demonic possession) and Saint Faith of Agen (of prisoners and soldiers).

Saint Bruno was an 11th century teacher who was speaking at a funeral when the dead man woke up and started going on about God’s strict judgement.  This inspired Bruno and six of his buddies to pick up sticks and become hermits.  In retrospect you hope it wasn’t all due to a prank on the part of the “dead” man.

Saint Faith was a third century French virgin who died from being burned alive after refusing to give it up to the local Roman Governor.  (Or, as they called it back then, “Natural Causes.”)

Today belongs to them.

Saint Bruno

Saint Faith

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